Ohio's Boneheaded Tourist Adventures by OhioTraveler.com

2012 ARCHIVED ADVENTURES OF
The Boneheaded Tourist

The 2012 contest is officially closed as of 9am 11/27/12. The winner was Sheena Schlosser-Sellers with 72 votes as of 9am 11/27/12.. Thank you everyone for playing.

2012 TRAVEL LOG:

The Boneheaded Tourist tours the
Historic 19^th Century Jefferson Depot Village

1890 became “ALIVE” as Ohio’s Boneheaded Tourist entered the gates at the 19^th century Jefferson Depot Village. He was so excited and raced from one historic building to another, finally entering the 1872 L.S.& M.S. Railroad Station. Full of mischief and fun, he grabbed the retractable phone, called OhioTraveler.com to let them know he arrived safely and started typing on a funny looking computer. Beside it was a sign that said “Do Not Use this Typewriter. Keys fly off”. He hung his head and spied a potbelly stove. This mischievous rascal opened the stove door and threw in a stick of wood. Fire flared up!

He ran to the Men’s Room, just in time. What’s this? No handle to flush? Up high he saw a wooden box with a handle and chain attached. He reached up and pulled!

In the Ladies Waiting Room, he squeezed in front of a lady at the ticket window to get a ticket but no luck. He had to wait his turn at the men’s ticket window.

Instead he went to the 1860 Pharmacy, jumped up on the counter, smelled the fragrant medicinal herbs and tasted the peppermint leaves. The pharmacist let him ring up a sale on the old cash register, but in his haste to have fun, he rang up 0.00 dollars and cents. After falling over the carriage steps, he entered the 1848 “Church in the Wildwood”. He sat next to a little girl to sing in the choir but his foot kicked the choir door open and to his surprise, the choir director was in there! He was frightened. Then he tried to pump the organ pedals with his feet but his legs were too short. No music!

The Boneheaded Tourist bowed to the teacher at the 1838 One-Room Schoolhouse before he could enter the Boys door. In the cloakroom was a large bucket of water and he was so thirsty. He grabbed the tin cup filled with water and drank and drank until the teacher spotted him. She put him on the dunces stool for not waiting his turn at the water bucket. He didn’t mind because the blackboard had a song at the top and a bible verse too. Then he did a scavenger hunt and received a free penny candy at Hohn’s General Store. Mr. Hohn let him grind the coffee (his other hand reached into the candy jar).

Inside the 1816 Tavern was a piano with no pedals. He climbed up, put his feet on the keys to play, but his shoes were too big. The barmaid said she’s give him a bottle of root beer if he’d get off the piano. He sat on the bar stool; still to small, so he drank his root beer on the caboose step.

In the 1888 Victorian House kitchen, he curled up in the old rocking chair beside the wood cook stove and went to sleep, dreaming of all the fun he had in Jefferson Depot Village.

BT Falls into Ramseyer Farms

The Boneheaded Tourist (BT) was excited to see all the kids laughing and having a good time at Ramseyer Farms (www.ramseyerfarms.com). He ran to join the fun not hearing the calls of “wait, BT we have some directions!”

At the top of a tall flight of stairs BT looked down the long tube that would take him back to the ground. At the bottom was a pit of corn. BT couldn’t wait to splash into it. Down the slide he went. There was a loud “Yee Hamphmph!” from BT and then lots of laughter from watching kids. All that could be seen in the pile of corn were two wiggling red-stockings sticking straight up. Spitting out corn and knocking a few kernels from his ears after being rescued, BT decided maybe now was a good time to hear those directions. First: Always go feet first down the slide!

After patiently listening, BT set off to explore the rest of Ramseyer Farms. He raced some ducks then, pumped his legs as fast as they would go on the pedal cart race track. He built castles in pits of corn, somehow ended up on the wrong side of the fence with some very curious goats, and even got a wagon ride from some friendly, but strange looking people. After a hayride through the fields and woods with new friends, BT buckled up for a Conestoga Wagon Train ride. As he passed the entrance to the Ohio Maze he knew he was ready for his next challenge.

Having been given a map and phone number before entering, he set out with confidence. He turned right and left, left and right. He got a little lost and thought he may have to bed down for the night, but then BT realized he had a map and made it out of the maze. As an Ohio tourist, learning about Ohio in the Ohio Maze was perfect. He thought his Ohio Traveler friends would enjoy getting lost in this cornfield! Potato slingshots and picking out his favorite pumpkin from the patch filled BT’s dreams that night.

BT had had a great time at Ramseyer Farms.

While waiting for the Ramseyer Express Train to leave the station for his next Ohio visit, he reconsidered, perhaps he should stay. He could live in the Pumpkin House and maybe help with next year’s harvest . . .

The Boneheaded Tourist Explores Clinton County

The Boneheaded Tourist (BT) arrived in Clinton County. He could not have picked a more beautiful week to tour southwest Ohio; warm, sunny days and cool, clear evenings.

BT spent his first morning visiting Horsefeathers Farm (www.horsefeathersfarmonline.com). Horsefeathers specializes in the propagation of the endangered Parma Wallaby under the sponsorship of the Cincinnati Zoo. The gals at the Clinton County Visitors Bureau had signed BT up for the Australian Encounter Tour. What a treat! Owners, Bob and Julie Heyob, welcomed BT and took his picture in their train. Then BT met Boomer, a rare albino wallaby, who just wanted to keep kissing him. He also met Skittles and learned from the Heyobs that Skittles has a brand new baby in her pouch. BT also got his first face-to-face with an Island Bearded Dragon and Abby, a Muntjac deer, who is only 14” tall…and she’s full grown!

There were lots of children on the tour with BT, and they took in some fishing before heading out on the hay wagon ride. He wrapped up his tour looking for fossils in Sewall Run Creek. What a fun morning, plus BT felt really good about supporting such an important program. BT wants these truly unique critters to not become extinct so other kids can play with them in the future.

After grabbing a bite to eat, BT headed to the infamous Murphy Theatre. (www.themurphytheatre.org) This historic theater is almost 100 years old and features nationally-known performers and concerts. BT stopped in on the Summer Exploring Art group as they were completing a mask making project. After watching the mask making, BT headed to the front of the theater to watch the Mad Cap Puppets production of “When You Wish Upon A Fish.” An extra surprise for BT was going backstage after the show to meet the performers and learn how puppets work.

He decided to stop at Bergefurd’s, (www.bergefurdsfarmmarket.com) one of the local farm markets, to pick up some farm fresh goodies for his supper. BT got to meet the guys who work in the fields picking crops. They grow over 65 fruits and vegetables. Everything looked yummy, and he bought sweet corn for supper.

BT loves to camp and checked in at Beechwood Acres Campground (www.beechwoodacres.com) for some R&R. This place is super cool. They have corn hole, basketball, a game room, train rides and all kinds of activities. BT thought he’d try his luck panning for treasure in their Gem Mine. What fun! Then a little dip in their pool was just the ticket before grilling out and hitting the sack. BT was very careful to not get in the pool unless there was an adult present.

The next day he headed to Bonnybrook Farms. (www.bonnybrookfarms.com) This place is huge, really…it’s 350 acres. The gift shop has all kinds of goodies and is a good place to plan your agenda. BT played Clodhopper Golf and tried his hand at the Giant Slingshot. The 70’ mountain slide was the best. Lunch was great, and BT was starved. The Bonnybrook ladies prepare all their own food. BT had hickory smoked pulled pork, slaw and potato salad - all made from garden fresh produce - and berry cobbler…YUM! He plans to come back this fall for the giant corn maze and chuck wagon ride.

Next he headed out to Cowan Lake State Park. (www.dnr.state.oh.us/parks/parks/cowanlk.htm) BT met some new friends, and an afternoon swim was the perfect way to spend the next few hours. Again, BT reminded everyone they had to have an adult with them before they got in the lake. Some of the kids took hikes, and some folks rented paddleboats. He had a super fun time and hated to leave.

His last stop was the World’s Largest Horseshoe Crab. This stop is listed as one of the top five roadside attractions in the U.S., and he just couldn’t pass it up. You can see how big “Crabby” is compared to little ole’ BT. Quite unusual to say the least.

There were still many more attractions to hit; but, as with any vacation it was time to pack up and move on to his next destination. BT said he would like to bring his whole family back to Clinton County someday.

BT has a Blast in Preble County

Bonehead began his visit to Preble County at an Eaton Rotary Club meeting at the Eaton Country Club and Golf Course. He thought his traveling attire would bring him some luck with his swing but we won’t elaborate on how well that worked…so we gave him a new Bridges, Bikes, and Blues T-shirt!

Bonehead was invited to the Whispering Oaks Bed & Breakfast; he loved the hammock, pool, and breakfast made from locally grown fruits & eggs.

He decided to “wing” the rest of his trip taking to the road in an Ural Sidecar Motorcycle from Heindl Engineering. He toured all 8 covered bridges stopping at the oldest and youngest double barreled covered bridges in Ohio.

Bonehead visited the Preble County Historical Center, Log House, Amphitheater, and dragonfly sculpture.

He visited the Historic Camden Depot Dairy Bar and Restaurant where he enjoyed a famous Depot burger and milkshake!

He set up camp at Archway Campgrounds and visited Today’s Harvest where he learned of their giant corn maze. He went canoeing at Natural Springs Resort – OH! don’t ask about his swim suit!

He visited Wesler Orchards for some apple butter and ventured to the New Paris Antique Mall. They were so excited to see him and invited him back for the Apple Festival in September!

He noticed all the youngin’s preparing for the Preble County Fair and made a quick visit the Rodeo Shop to pick up some new digs.

Later he visited the Village of Lewisburg to learn about Derby Days. He took a spin in a derby car and said he’d send his friend Frank Satullo with the Ural Sidecar back for the Derby Day’s Bike Night!

He visited some farm markets and historic barns. He registered for the Barn Tour and Art Auction in October!

He visited the Expo Center at the Fairgrounds and enjoyed a Great White Buffalo at Saucy Jacks where he picked up an Eaton Old Fashioned Saturday Night Wheel Show brochure.

He made a quick visit to Heaven’s Corner Zoo where he fed the Lemurs and strapped on the feed-bags at a Red Solo Cup Party at Buckeye Jakes.

Before heading to the post office, he stopped in the Tea Room and Ivy Parlor to enjoy some strawberry lemonade and a Vera Bradley handbag (man-bag that is)!

As he said goodbye he promised to tell the world about his visit to Preble County!

The Boneheaded Tourist kicks back and enjoys Country Acres Campground and Cabins

Wow, what an exciting time the Boneheaded Tourist has had during his stay at Country Acres Campground, a family campground in Ravenna, Ohio. From the get-go it was obvious this was going to be one of his best vacations ever. When he arrived, the campground’s staff and seasonal campers greeted him and made him feel welcomed.

The campground is large, so they let him use their electric car, a GEM, to get around. His first stop was the store. Besides the candy, ice cream and toys, there are these great camping shirts and hats, his favorite was the tie-dyed one, so he had to have it. He had forgotten his wallet and offered his services and he was put to work. He graciously agreed and began greeting customers, answered the telephone and made reservations. At the end of the day, his cash drawer even balanced. What an exhausting day and he just wanted to relax.

The campground is a full-service campground and he thought he would have to pitch a tent by the lake, but they reserved a rental, one of 10 available. He was amazed, he was staying in Deluxe. Being so tired for the time in the office, he took full advantage and decided to just relax on the deck which overlooks the fishing lake. He then took a chair and sat at the lake and dropped a line in to fish. Within a few moments, who comes to visit and check things out, Henry, the campground swan!

Besides the campground sites and rentals, there was so much more he took advantage of.

He spent much of his time just relaxing by the swimming pools in comfortable resort style lounge chairs. There, he made lots of friends, some even invited him to spend time at their campfire making s’mores. If you have not ever made them, give it a try, you will love them as much as he did.

He was such a kid at heart, he had to go on the Jumping Pillow as soon as it opened. He and the kids had a ball and it is enjoyable family time. Behind that is this big blue inflatable thing…kind of looks like a spider. After looking, he found out that it is Water Wars, a water balloon battle game. He got some campers together and decided to play. They shot balloons back and forth at each other. They laughed, got soaked and had so much fun. They all decided it was time to play basketball and then jumped in the pool.

The campers are so friendly that he met a girl and they took the Pedal Karts out for a ride around the park. After that, it was time for the paddle boats. As they are paddling on the lake, guess who stops by, that right, Henry the swan.

During his stay, he also enjoyed the Friday night outdoor movie with specials at the snack bar. On Saturdays and Sundays breakfast is available. Weekends are full of family activities including crafts, organized family games, hayrides and Saturday night entertainment. During the Boneheaded Tourists stay, there was a magician, karaoke and line dancing.

Who knew that camping could be so much fun. Where the Boneheaded Tourist goes next is not known, but it sure will be the best of the best that the state of Ohio has to offer.

BT gets light on his feet at The Fine Arts Association in Willoughby

The famous Boneheaded Tourist (BT) recently arrived at The Fine Arts Association in Willoughby. He was greeted at the front door by sculptor Michael Tradowsky’s “Jump for Joy” statue and was so taken with its beauty that he asked to have his picture taken with it and of course, we were delighted.

BT got here just in time for the opening of our 16^th Annual One Act Festival. As you can see, BT had a front row seat which he personally selected earlier on opening day. This season’s festival premiered eleven original plays (selected from 693 submissions from playwrights around the world)! BT laughed and cried as each play brought an emotional response. He had a great time.

When BT saw the Steinway grand piano in our lobby, he couldn’t resist playing some swinging tunes. He was further inspired by the sounds emanating from more than twenty rooms filled with students singing and playing music on every instrument imaginable.

The next day BT attended the Dance Experience class. He got along really well with his fellow dancers who taught him some pretty fancy tap steps. He had a little trouble dancing, not only because this was his first dance experience, but because, well, BT doesn’t exactly have the strongest ligaments. He still had fun.

The Fine Arts Association is always looking for new cast members, dance students, musicians and 21^st century Picassos. When The Boneheaded Tourist is ready to retire from traveling, should he decide to reside in beautiful Willoughby, Ohio, we’re sure he’ll spend a lot of time with us here at Fine Arts “where all the arts can be found under one roof.”

We really enjoyed hosting BT and send him on his way with wishes for safe travels and continued fun on his upcoming adventures.

BT falls off the grid in Ohio's largest playground

The Boneheaded Tourist fell off the grid for over a month. We wondered what sort of mischief he had gotten into and worried about his safety. After all, last we heard, he was headed from Butler County to Warren County and they’re right next to each other.

It turns out he fell into “Ohio’s Largest Playground!” And he couldn’t – or wouldn’t – get out!

So why is Warren County Ohio’s Largest Playground? Follow along with the BT and find out!

On his first day in Warren County, BT went to Kings Island one of Warren County’s signature attraction and the Midwest’s Largest amusement and waterpark. At the top of the iconic Eiffel tower, BT saw world-class coasters, the new Soak City Waterpark (free with park admission), the world’s largest dinosaur park and more. BT knew he was in the right place for plenty of family fun!

BT’s next stop was Great Wolf Lodge, with its mammoth indoor waterpark, guaranteed to “weatherproof” your vacation fun with its six pools, 12 waterslides, lazy river and four-story wet-and-wild tree house. To dry off, BT bowled the perfect game at the new Ten Paws Alley then headed off to bed in a woodland-themed guest room.

On day two, BT took to the skies on Ozone Zipline Adventures, the Midwest’s largest canopy zip line tour. The new River Tour zip lines gave BT an amazing 360 degree view as he soared more than 200 feet above the Little Miami River valley. With three tour options, eight sky bridges and breathtaking views, it was an experience BT won’t soon forget.

BT then headed to the picturesque town of Lebanon, to cool off with a sweet treat at the Double Dip. Then he went for a ride on the LM&M Railroad, a vintage 1950’s passenger train where he listened to conductors describe railroad history. BT planned to return again so he could take a themed ride such as the Great Train Robbery, Curious George or The Cat in the Hat Train Ride.

To end his trip, BT visited the historic Golden Lamb Inn & Restaurant, oldest inn, and marveled at the vast array of Shaker furniture and visited rooms where U.S. President’s once slept. Then he settled in for a roast leg of lamb and a slice of Sister Lizzie’s Shaker Sugar Pie and planned his next trip to Warren County.

With more to do in a 30-mile radius, BT couldn’t possibly see everything in Warren County. He plans to return and hunt for new treasures in Waynesville “Antiques Capital of the Midwest”, rub elbows with Venus Williams and Roger Federer at the Western & Southern Open, cheer on his favorite knight at the Ohio Renaissance Festival and more.

For a complete list of adventures in Warren County, Ohio’s Largest Playground visit www.ohioslargestplayground.com.

BT Does The BC!

What’s the best part about being a bonehead? Getting to play like the kids!

The Boneheaded Tourist (BT) recently visited the Butler County Visitors Bureau and got to experience two super awesome kid friendly Butler County (The BC) spots, EnterTRAINment Junction and Jump & Jacks.

When he arrived in The BC, BT was so excited to get started on his travel adventures. So he grabbed his coat and headed out to explore the county and all of its family friendly destinations.

His first stop was the popular EnterTRAINment Junction. EnterTRAINment Junction is a super cool 25,000 square foot model train display that features the world’s largest G-scale indoor display with two miles of track and 90 model trains. Luckily for BT, EnterTRAINment Junction was hosting Everything Thomas, a month long celebration for Thomas the Tank Engine and all of his friends.

When we walked in, BT was immediately enthralled by the huge train displays representing different periods of American history. BT even stood on the benches and peered into the displays with his face pressed up against the glass.

Halfway through the exhibits, BT got to ride on a train and learn all about trains and the important role that they played in industrial America. After touring the amazing displays, BT took a break in the kids play area and got to play with toy Thomas the Tank Engine trains.

A trip to EnterTRAINment Junction wouldn’t be complete without a trip through the A-Maze-N Funhouse. The funhouse is a circus midway experience featuring the region’s only mirror maze, a discombobulating spinning vortex tunnel, a hilarious tilt room, and so much more.

BT was super excited to run through the funhouse. He started out with the mirror maze, which left him confused and constantly running into mirrors that he thought were passageways. Next, BT wanted to see the spinning vortex and claustrophobia hallway, which made him very dizzy. The dizzying funhouse made BT’s head feel funny and he fell down many times.

After regaining his composure, BT realized that he was missing a glove! How could this happen? He lost one of his favorite orange gloves! BT was so excited about playing in the funhouse that he didn’t even notice that he had lost one of his gloves! He figured he must have lost it in someplace inside the funhouse. BT went back into the funhouse after his glove, determined to find it. After searching all over, in every corner of the spinning vortex and even crawling around in the black hole room, BT couldn’t fit his glove.

Even though he was sad about losing his favorite orange glove, BT wanted to keep exploring The BC. He had heard that a brand new indoor play place with a four level play center with 40 foot slides, a bounce yard with giant inflatables, and even a place to grab a snack called Jump & Jacks had just opened three days ago. He just had to check it out!

BT unleashed his inner kid at Jump & Jacks. Running all around the arena climbing through tunnels, sliding down giant slides, and even making a few new friends. But BT lost a shoe! Suddenly he was running around with only one shoe on! Without his shoe, he could step on something and hurt his foot! The other kids in the play area tried to tell BT that he lost his shoe, but BT was too excited about playing and didn’t pay any attention to his helpful friends.

After finally realizing that he had lost a shoe, BT had to take a break from playing and search all over Jump & Jacks to find his missing shoe. He finally found it in a bright orange tunnel. He was glad he found it because he sure looked funny with just one shoe on!

At the end of the day, BT was worn out! He had seen tiny trains, met Thomas the Tank Engine, got lost in a funhouse, and ran around an exciting kids play arena. But BT had also learned a very important lesson, that he should always pay attention to his surroundings and his belongings at all times, no matter how excited he is. He learned that being aware helps you stay safe and helps you keep from looking funny with just one glove and one shoe on!

Get to the BC! - www.gettothebc.com

BT Goes Home

Our friend, The Boneheaded Tourist, returned to his maker – a lady in Greenville, Ohio – where he spent the past two months.

He celebrated Christmas, Latvian style, with the Jekabsons extended family consisting of the families of five sisters who immigrated to Greenville, Ohio from Europe after WWII. BT received some winter clothing. It’s a good thing too because he has been traveling in shorts and sandals, bonehead that he is! After he tried on his new digs, he wasted no time running outside to make a snow angel – his first ever.

He accompanied Mara (Jekabsons) Cox to the Episcopal Church in Greenville. Mara pointed out some unique history to BT. A former church member, John Knox Reily, founded the Beta Theta Pi fraternity at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio back in 1839. BT got to sit in the pew that was once occupied by Lt. Commander Zachariah Lansdowne and his family. Lansdowne was the commander of the ill-fated Shenandoah, an airship modeled after the zeppelin bomber L-49.

Afterward, BT went to see the old Lohman Brothers building where they made telescopes, telescope lenses and wagons. Steeped in Greenville history, it only made sense that BT go to the public library to get his own library card. Librarian Susie Hailey wanted to teach him to use the computer but BT was hungry for lunch.

Mara treated him to spinach quiche and decaf coffee at Brenda’s Beanery Coffee Shop. He left with a souvenir mug for his first prize item to go in his suitcase of booty which will be awarded near the end of 2012 to whoever submits the best safety or travel tip to OhioTraveler.com.

The Boneheaded Tourist has reached celebrity status through his mishaps and interesting travels throughout Ohio over the past year so he sat for an interview at The Daily Advocate where he met Linda Moody, Features Editor. His story appeared on the cover of the Sunday edition soon thereafter. When he stopped to shop at the Third Street Market Store, they were quick to snap his photo and post it on Facebook.

Greenville’s history was intriguing to BT. A history plaque informed him that the town was originally the fortification named Greene Ville, built under the command of General “Mad” Anthony Wayne. Wayne named it after an old friend from the Revolutionary War days – Nathanael Greene. This led BT to the place where The Treaty of Greene Ville was signed. This was a historic treaty that was to end the Indian Wars in what was known as the Ohio territory at the time.

Later in the afternoon, BT did some bird watching at Shawnee Prairie Preserve Nature Center. While there, he documented that he had seen a Song Sparrow along with the date he saw it to post on the Feeder Watch. This area and the lands south of it were once known as Prophets Town. “The Prophet” was a Shawnee Indian and his brother was Tecumseh! Together they lived here in defiance of the Treaty. The nature center has a two-sided historical marker that tells their story.

But BT needed more information about this so he ventured over to Garst Museum. BT struggled with the door. It would not open! He grew frustrated and slipped and fell. Mara calmly corrected his behavior lecturing him on patience and problem-solving. So, together, they made what they could of their visit to the museum and walked over to the birthplace of Lowell Thomas. This house was moved from nearby Woodington to the Garst grounds. Thomas was a writer, broadcaster and traveler best known as the man who made Lawrence of Arabia famous.

Still needing a history fix, Mara drove BT out to Brock Cemetery to see Annie Oakley’s gravesite. But this only made BT yearn to get inside Garst Museum even more since it is also the home of the Annie Oakley Center!

The Double M Diner hosted Mara and BT for dinner at the old Palace Store Building. There were many little shops inside the beautifully renovated building with rich architecture.

Now that The Boneheaded Tourist has been refreshed with a return “home,” he is gearing up for an exciting new year of Ohio tourism in 2012. He noticed he had largely missed southwest Ohio so he decided to hit a few spots there and then work his way across the state again in search of cool attractions. Of course, once BT hits the road nobody knows what to expect. None-the-less, his adventures and mishaps will be reported every step of the way at OhioTraveler.com and on OhioTraveler’s Facebook and Twitter pages.

Enjoy the fun.